Strong Self Confidence
Self confidence is always an interesting aspect of how we think about ourselves and of others. We know of people, friends, relatives and colleagues who seem to exude strong self confidence. We know people who are confident about certain things (eg. public speaking) and those same people can lack confidence about other things (eg. driving a car).
You may have confidence in certain areas of your life such as work and lack confidence in other areas such as relationships or social situations. Confidence doubts can affect anyone.
What Causes Low Self Confidence?
There can be a myriad of causes or reasons for low self confidence. Here are a few of the most popular causes of a lack of confidence:-
- Bullied at school / work / home
- Embarrassed by a teacher / parent when younger
- Made a major error at work
- Criticised constantly by a parent / teacher / boss
- Friends / relatives / colleagues have betrayed your trust
- A partner / wife / husband has belittled you and constantly criticises
- You are always compared to someone who is successful
- You have tried and (seemingly) failed with some goal (eg, exam, driving, new job etc)
It’s how you have perceived these events that has undermined your confidence. If you connect to one of the events above, what do you think that event has led you to believe about yourself? If your response is negative (eg. I will never succeed) then it is clear an event like those have had an impact on your life.
Sometimes there isn’t a obvious event or series of events that led to low confidence. Sometimes it can just be what you have come to believe about yourself. However no one is born with low confidence. Some how you have learnt to think and feel and believe in a particular way that has undermined your confidence. Maybe you have learnt to be the first person to criticise yourself hoping that no one else will be as harsh and also hoping that someone will rescue you by saying “No, that’s not true, you are good/successful/skillful etc”. However no matter how many times you do this it never makes the positive difference to the confidence you would like to have.
How to Have Stronger Self Confidence
It’s important to deal with any past experiences and events and the emotions and beliefs attached to those. Only through doing this can you build your confidence on firm foundations. We are a product of our past experiences, influences and conclusions but you don’t have to remain a victim of them. In fact a practical and doable first step for anyone who has low self confidence is stop believing your own publicity. In other words stop criticising yourself. How can you possibly expect to feel confident if you have an internal or external voice that keeps sabotaging you. Focus on what you do well and acknowledge it. It’s a small start to better self confidence but a start none the less.
EFT for Self Confidence
EFT – Emotional Freedom Techniques is a wonderfully simple process (developed by Gary Craig) that can help you release yourself from the self-imposed prision of the past. It helps to put to bed all those past events that have been negatively affecting you today. Your life is far too important to be left to chance. You are far too important to continue carrying some past burden that should have been released ages ago.
EFT helps with this release process. Although my clients get different responses to using EFT, many talk of feeling lighter, just like a weight has been lifted off their shoulders. They can notice more energy and find that their perception of the world and themselves is changing.
One of the useful aspects of EFT is that it can also be a form of self-help. This means that once you have learn EFT you can use it in your life and for almost any life challenge.
EFT for Confidence in London
I am Steven Harold and an experienced EFT practitioner in London and I have been helping people from London, Essex, Hertfordshire and other areas in the UK for many years. I would be delighted to help you gain stronger self confidence so that you can have more of a “can do” attitude. You can still be the wonderful human being that you are with your unique personality and characteristics but be confident too.
As a therapist one of the amazing aspects to EFT is that you don’t need to believe in it for it to help you. All you need is your willingness to use it with maybe an air of curiosity and notice the differences and changes in yourself. You will be the judge.